Ecstatic for Ecstasy


Alexis takes ecstasy and her friends aren’t too fond of the idea.  She doesn’t have a real older brother, but Ryan is close enough, and takes it upon himself to let her know just how un-fond of the idea he is.


It was 8:49pm, a school night, and I’d just finished my homework. Okay, you’re right, it is a first, but what else could I have done? I was sitting in my house by myself, it was dark outside, and everyone was either at work or sleeping. Not to mention if I didn’t turn in my homework the next day, my teacher wasn’t going to be very happy and I’d have a good chance at failing the class. I wouldn’t mind if I didn’t need the class, but it was American History and my teacher was doing his best to get me to pass because I’d slacked off so much. My friend, Brent, kept making statements about how I should be taken over someone’s knee for skipping so much, but I didn’t think anything of it. Brent is three years older than me and a college student at a local university. We worked together. He is gorgeous.

Anyway, enough about the homework. Did I mention I was livid? How could she? My mom, I mean. She was a borderline alcoholic and a compulsive gambler, trying to “recover.” But she wasn’t at home. Where else could she be? You guessed it: the casino. And that pisses me off… because if she’s going to try and “quit” gambling, why the hell would she be at the casino??

So now you know that the addiction thing runs in the family, and I know it all too well. I’ve had a few addictions of my own: chocolate, internet, bugging people. You know, just the normal stuff. Then I became a teenager and experimented with cigarettes, alcohol, and finally, ecstasy. The latter was my favorite of the three because it’s so great. It’ll get you feeling like you’re a million miles away and there’s no worries in the world. I could understand my mom’s fixation with gambling, because it’s nice to be numb. But did she really have to leave her sixteen year old daughter at home alone on a school night when she was already feeling down? So I blamed her for the fact that I was dialing my drug dealer’s number. I hadn’t done X in over two months, since I began working with Brent and another friend of mine named Ryan. But I guess like they say, once an addict, always an addict.

“Hey Alexis. How’s it goin’?” he asked and I could hear him taking a deep drag off of his cigarette.

“Going okay,” I answered, clearing my throat. My hands were a little shakey because I always get nervous when I think about ecstasy, and the fact that I had no idea when my mom was coming home and I definitely didn’t want her to catch me on it. “Can I get some stuff?”



“Let me check. I’ll call you back.”

“Thanks,” I muttered and closed my phone, biting my lower lip and ignored the fact that my computer screen was getting blurry because of my nervousness.

I nearly jumped out of my seat a minute later when my phone blared the obnoxious Cingular tune. “Alexis?”

“Uh huh?”

“Yeah, I can get it for you. Meet me in thirty minutes.”

“O-okay. Thanks,” I stammered then hung up the phone. We always met at the same place, in the parking lot of an abandoned shopping center that they were planning on turning into a church. It was halfway between both of our houses.. a happy medium, so to speak.

I stumbled to the refrigerator, palms sweaty but shivering, and stocked up on water, putting at least five bottles in my backpack. I went ahead and ate a poptart to kill time and snuggled with my cat until fifteen minutes had passed. I took a deep breath in to steady my racing pulse and scribbled a note for my mom. She hadn’t bothered to write me a note or anything, but I had the decency to do it for her.

“Staying with Laurie so we can study. If you come home, call me. If not, I’ll see you tomorrow.

I threw the pen down in anger, scaring the hell out of my cat and apologizing, then storming outside, near tears. It was pretty nice outside, considering that it was the middle of February. Of course, Louisiana is fucked up and it was almost 70 degrees.

My dealer was waiting for me when I pulled into the shopping center. I could recognize his car from anywhere: it was pimped out, like one of those ugly cars you see on “Pimp My Ride.” Personally, I would never drive it. But I guess to each their own.

“Hey, how’re ya doin’?” he asked, hanging inside my window and barely touching my hand to place the pill on my palm.

“Okay, I guess,” I answer, slipping the twenty dollar bill between his fingers.

“Wild party tonight?”

“Nah, nothing too crazy. What kind ya got for me tonight?”

“Blue dolphin, babe. You’ll love it.”

I smiled.

“Be careful, kiddo,” he told me and ruffled my hair.

“Always. See ya.”


I popped the pill in my mouth without even thinking to look at it. Ecstasy pills are so pretty.. I love to look at them and admire its beauty. That sounds cheesily pathetic, I know. But really… it’s just like foreshadowing your feelings. The prettier the pill, the prettier you’ll feel when you take it. I love ecstasy.

I took a swig of my water to wash the taste down. Never chew on an X pill, it tastes like shit. I didn’t chew it, I swallowed it, and it still tasted like shit. But don’t judge the effects by the taste.. because the effects are so not shit. Enough about my infatuation with ecstasy.

After taking the pill, there wasn’t much I could do except for wait for it to kick in. It takes about an hour, so I was safe to drive until then. I wasn’t going to crash at Laurie’s house, because she would freak out when she found out what I was on, so it’d be a good idea to contemplate who would let me actually crash with them for the night. My first thought was a Mexican friend of mine named Daniel. He loved me and would definitely take me in for a night. But when I called him, he was dead asleep and explained that he had to work that night. No way was I staying at his house with his crazy roommates.

Who else was there? Well, I had loads of Mexican friends, but none of them I trusted enough to be around me while on X. I had a friend from school that I tried to call, but she didn’t answer. I was kind of happy about that because I didn’t exactly want to be with her anyway. My last resort was to call Ryan or Brent. I don’t have many friends, but the ones I do have either live with their parents or freak out at the thought of drugs. Ryan nor Brent lived with their parents nor would they freak out over X… I hoped.

I cleared my throat and found Ryan’s number in my phonebook then clicked the “Yes” button to dial. My hands were still shakey and I knew I was running out of time to find somewhere to go. It was nearing that one-hour mark and I didn’t want to be driving while under the influence. Too much shit could happen, like a wreck or going to jail or anything. I wasn’t going to take that chance.

“Alexis!!!!” Ryan said in his normally cheerful voice.

“Hey,” I said hastily, “I have a really important favor to ask.” My heart was racing because I was so nervous. I had no idea how Ryan would react to drugs… but he was only a few years older than me and had surely experimented before and couldn’t really get that upset with me… right?

“Sure. Are you okay?”

“Yeah… I just need a place to crash tonight because my mom isn’t home.”

“Of course you can! You’re welcome to stay here anytime, Alexis… I’ve already told you that!”

“Thanks Ryan, I owe you one,” I said. I accidentally omitted the fact that I was going to be high on drugs by the time I got there — okay, so maybe it wasn’t such an accident.

I drove carefully to his house, being extra paranoid because the X could kick in at any moment. I didn’t want any cops to pull me over and it to kick in right at that moment and say or do something so stupid it’d get me thrown in jail. They’d have to pry my poor mother away from the slot machines at the casino and she’d be pissed.

The X managed to not kick in until after I’d successfully parked in front of Ryan’s house. My heart was already thumping but I could tell that the drugs kicked in because everything all of a sudden got really blurry and I had the sudden urge to lie down on the grass and make a snow angel, even though it wasn’t snowing.

“Pull yourself together, Alexis. Just make it up the stairs, and then you can do crazy shit,” I told myself, aloud, and then started giggling. I sipped on a bottle of water then opened the door of my car, checking three times to make sure I locked it and indeed had my keys in my pocket. Ryan must have been getting worried because he looked out the window to make sure I was okay. I gave him the thumbs-up sign and ambled towards his house. He lived in a duplex and his apartment was on the top floor. Yay for stairs. I just love them, especially when I’m too fucked up to walk straight.

After plowing into the wall several times, I finally made it up the stairs where Ryan was holding the door open. “What’s up with you? Are you drunk?” he asked, taking my backpack when I handed it to him.

“Nah, I’m fine,” I answered and giggled like a little schoolgirl.

I imagine that he probably blinked at that statement then closed the door, setting my backpack on the floor. “Alexis.. you’re scaring me..”

“I’m okay. Just a little crazy. My mom’s fault.”

For the first time, he took a good look at me. “Jesus, Alexis… your pupils are huge. Are you on something?”

“Just ecstasy,” I answered, as if I were telling him what I’d eaten that day… as if it was nothing. I plopped down on the couch and lay down, giggling.

“Ecstasy?” he asked. I didn’t catch the look on his face, but he was probably either confused, worried, or pissed off — maybe even a combination of all three.

“Uh huh,” I answered, fiddling with something on his coffee table.

He stood there for a moment, dumbfounded.

“Sit next to meee!” I ordered, glancing at him. “Pwease?”

“Girl, you are so fucked up,” he told me, but sat down anyway. I lay my head in his lap and he pet my hair a little. “What’s wrong? Why did you do ecstasy?”

“Because my mom is a bitch. I fucking hate her,” I told him, but giggled anyway. “I love you, Ryan!” I told him.

He didn’t answer.

“Can I have a hug??”

He helped me up and held me a little. “Are you cold?” he asked.

I glanced at him then realized that my body was shaking and my teeth chattering a little bit. “A little.”

He got up and brought me a blanked, then wrapped me in it, holding me towards him.

“Everything feels so great.”

He shook his head. I listened to his heart thumping inside his chest. “I wouldn’t expect something like this out of you,” he said softly.

“I’m okay,” I assured him. “It just helps me feel better.”

I must’ve snuggled with Ryan forever. We watched some tv and I giggled a lot, but nothing really that spectacular happened. I just felt numb, and that’s all I wanted.

I dozed off somewhere in there. Well, I wouldn’t consider it actually sleeping. I was half gone, but mostly just had my eyes closed and was letting my mind dream for me, though I knew it was a dream. I knew when I opened my eyes that whomever it was that was talking to me would be gone. I pet Ryan’s cat for a little while. Then the after-effects started happening… the constant sick feeling… the sweating and shaking.

“Alexis? Are you okay?” Ryan asked, and I could definitely hear the worry in his voice at this time, even though I was fucked up.

“I’m cold.”

“You’re sweating.”

“I don’t want it to wear off. I don’t want to come down. I want more,” I demanded.

“You don’t need anymore.”

“Call my dealer.”

“No, you’re not having anymore, Alexis. Go to sleep, okay? Calm down.”

“I’m calm,” I promised him. “I just want some more.”

“Go to sleep babe,” he cooed, petting my hair.

I shivered and snuggled up to him, forgetting the argument about ecstasy. Ryan was there. He wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me. I trusted him.

Next thing I remember I was still snuggled up in the blankets he’d given me and lying on his couch, but he was in the other room talking on the phone. “You know more about this than me…. You’re going to be a doctor for god’s sake. Can’t you just come over and make sure she’s okay?”

I wanted to ask him who he was talking to, but was too concerned with snuggling up in my blanket instead.

Moments later, there was a slight knock on the door and I mumbled “who is it?” although Ryan had already gotten up to get it. I peeked my eyes open and saw Brent in the doorway. I couldn’t help but smile. There was absolutely no worry in my mind. “Hey, Brent,” I whispered.

He smiled slightly and came towards me after listening to Ryan’s mumbling. “How are you feeilng?” he asked.

“Drunk as a skunk, high as a kite,” I answered.

He shook his head at me. “That’s because you are. Do you feel sick?”

I shook my head. “Just comin’ down. Tell Ryan not to worry. I’m fine. I just need to snuggle and my tummy hurts.”

Brent looked back up and patted my head. “Do you know how much she had?”

“One,” I answered.

“Are you sure you’re just coming down? Have you ever taken it before? Do you trust the person that had it? Do you always get sweaty and cold when you’re coming down?”

“Yes.” One answer to all of his questions.

Ryan was pacing back and forth. “She’ll be okay,” Brent said. “But I’ll stick around for a little while anyway. Get some sleep, Alex.”

I nodded and closed my eyes again, not wanting to drink anymore water because then I’d have to pee and I was sick of having to get up and pee. That was the only thing on my mind as I tried to go to sleep. I had some more crazy dreams where I thought people were talking to me and knew if I opened my eyes they’d be gone, but otherwise, I finally managed to get some actual sleep.

I woke up about 4am on Ryan’s bed. They must’ve carried me in there. Ryan was conked out next to where I’d been and as I headed for the restroom I noticed that Brent was sound asleep on the sofa. I was still a little messed up, so I tiptoed to the living room and shook Brent.

“Hey, are you going to school today?” I whispered.

Brent stirred and glanced at me. “Hmm? No, I don’t know,” he said. “Are you okay?”

I shrugged. “A little fucked up, but nothing a few more hours of sleep can’t take care of.”

He shook his head at me. “You are so getting the spanking of your life when Ryan and I get up.”

I laughed nervously, not believing a word of it. Brent always mentioned how I needed a spanking, but had never acted on it before, so why would he start acting on it now?

I went ahead to the restroom and took care of my business then went back to bed. I snuggled up next to Ryan because I was feeling all snuggly and touchy-feely, which always happens when you’re on X. I slept for a few hours until I felt my friend shaking me awake.

“Hey, Alexis,” Ryan was saying. “Don’t you need to go home and get ready for school?”

“I’m not going,” I groaned.

“Yeah, you are. Get up,” Brent said as he came into the room. “We’re not taking pity on you because you decided to do drugs last night. Come on, I’ll drop you off.”

“I don’t want to go.”

“I don’t care,” Brent answered. “You have to be stern with her,” he was telling Ryan, “else she’ll think she can do whatever the hell she wants. That’s the problem with highschoolers these days.”

“Shut up, Brent. It’s not like you’ve never skipped before and you’re not that much older than I am. The only person who can talk about immature high schoolers is Ryan and that’s ’cause he’s a grandpa.”

“Well, I agree with him, and you’re going to school, Alexis, so get up,” Ryan said.

“That’s not fair… you guys aren’t my parents!”

“I don’t care. You’re going to school, Alexis Leanne, and Brent is going to take you.”

How the hell did he know my middle name?

Nonetheless, it got me out of bed. It was actually kinda cool that they were being all demanding and insist that I go… kinda like the older brothers I never had and always wanted. But that didn’t keep me from complaining: “Fine, I’ll go to stupid school, but only to make you happy.”

“And I’ll pick you up at 3:30,” Brent said.

I rolled my eyes at him as he grabbed his jacket, then I gave Ryan a pathetic look. He just shook his head at me. He wasn’t in the usual Ryan-cheery mood. Brent didn’t seem too pleased either. Had I really made that bad of a mistake by going over to Ryan’s house?

“Come on, Alexis,” Brent said, snapping me out of my own little world.

“Uh huh,” I groaned, stretching my arms out and slipping my shoes on. I gave Ryan a big hug and wanted to apologize in the process, but there was a wad in my throat and I figured if I did, I’d begin crying. I all of a sudden felt terrible for letting them down as opposed to upset that I got caught. Dammit… how does that happen? Was I really that high on the morality chart?

“Was I that annoying last night?” I asked, catching a glimpse of my car and knowing that there’d be no way I could concentrate on driving. It was waay too bright outside and I was feeling a little too spacey.

“When are you not annoying?” Brent asked, obviously avoiding my question.

“I’m serious, Brent.”

“Me, too.” He paused and unlocked the doors to his 4runner. “No, you weren’t that annoying, we’re just disappointed that you’d do something so stupid. But we’ll talk about this after school, okay?”

“You guys don’t hate me, huh?”

He smiled. “It’d take more than this to make us hate you.”

He started up the 4runner and sped off. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, still feeling a little sick. I think I dozed off for a minute, or I was just so lost in my thoughts that it didn’t take that long to get to my house. I desperately wished that he’d just let me go to sleep and skip school, but I didn’t even bother asking — I already knew the answer.

Brent came inside with me and hung out with my cat while I showered. I pulled on my baggiest pair of jeans and a T-shirt because I felt like shit and didn’t care if I looked like shit. With my hair wet, I pulled it into a ponytail and slipped on some flip flops. “Ready,” I said.

Brent blinked at me. He was really preppy and always dressed up all nice for everything. I couldn’t imagine him in a pair of sweatpants or baggy jeans… So he was probably surprised that I’d be seen in public looking as shitty as I did. He would *never* look that shitty in public.

My school day was quite uneventful. I turned in my American History homework to which my teacher was proud and told me if I kept it up, he’d do something special for me. He really was a nice guy and was trying so hard to help me pass because he knew I had it in me. But hell, his assignments were hard as fuck and I wasn’t even the least bit interested in American History. He just said I needed some motivation, which is weird because Brent said that sometimes, too. So I guess his motivation for me was to do something special? Or threaten me with failing? I don’t think either really motivated me that much… I think I was just too bored to think of anything else to do.

After school I walked with a couple of my friends to their cars.

“Where’s your car?”

“Oh, my friend brought me to school. I ran out of gas and money,” I lied. They didn’t need to know about the drugs. They’re too goody-goody.

“Bummer. You want us to hang around til he gets here?”

“Nah, he’ll be here in a sec,” I told them. I really didn’t want them to meet Brent because they always had a habit of either scaring off my friends or stealing them from me. And Brent was too cool… I didn’t want them to do that to him.

“Suit yourself,” she said and shrugged, then waved goodbye.

I stalked back towards the campus and noticed Brent’s SUV through the mass of cars. I ran towards it and hopped inside, desperate to get away from the school. We didn’t say much to each other and I guess I assumed that I could finally go home after he dropped me off at my car, but I was wrong.

“Come on up.. Ryan wants to talk to you.”

“He does?”

Brent nodded.

I really had wanted to go home, but I didn’t argue. I figured it wouldn’t take too long and I could just promise that I’d never do ecstasy again and that’d be enough.

“Hey, Ryan, everything okay?” I asked when Brent swung the door open.

My friend was headed towards the kitchen with some plates in his hands. “We need to have a talk,” he said from the other room then came back, drying his hands on a dishtowel.

“That’s fine, but can we hurry it up because I have loads of homework to do.”

“You never do homework!” Brent insisted and I shot him a death glare.

“Well I’m going to start,” I hissed.

He laughed at me and sat down on the couch.

“Come in here,” Ryan ordered from his bedroom.

“We can’t talk in here?”

“Alexis,” he said sternly, glaring at me, “I said to come in here.”

I gulped and walked towards his room. He shut the door behind him and I was getting a little freaked out. What the hell was he going to do??

“Have a seat.”

I kept my eyes on him as I sat on his bed. He was pacing back and forth. “Look.. Ryan.. I’m..”

“Let me talk first, okay?”

I closed my mouth.

“What in the hell possessed you to do ecstasy?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but he stopped me because he already knew what I was going to say.

“Your mom, you say. You will sit here all day and bitch about how she always goes to the casino and won’t stop no matter how many people she’s hurting, and then you’ll go out and do the same thing?..”


“Do you not realize what the hell you’re doing to yourself? Do you not realize how much you’re going to fuck up your head? Ecstasy kills brain cells, it’s not healthy. There’s a healthier outlet of emotions, don’t you always say that about your mom? Are you that hypocritical?”

I totally wasn’t expecting that. “Okay, so I fucked up.. I’m sorry.. I promise I won’t do it again.”

“I don’t want promises, Alexis. You can promise me everyday and that doesn’t mean anything. Didn’t you promise Brent last week that you’d start going to all of your classes? Didn’t you promise that you’d start doing homework? And have you followed through? No. And this is too serious to rely on promises. You could seriously end up hurting yourself really badly.”

If he didn’t want a promise then what did he want me to do?

He stopped pacing for a moment and stared straight into my eyes, then stooped to my level, my face inches from his. “You are my friend, Alexis, even if I’ve only known you for a couple of months. You mean a lot to me, and I don’t want you to fuck yourself up on drugs, okay? You have too much ahead of you. Anytime your mom isn’t home you can stay with me… or anytime you want to stay you can, but you’re not going to do any drugs anymore, got it?”

I nodded.

The next thing he did, I totally wasn’t expecting: he hugged me! And that was that… I was under the impression that it was all over… until he sort of pulled me off the bed and sat down in my spot. Well, that was okay… it was the next thing… the fiddling with the button of my pants that kinda caught me off guard.

“Hey Ryan… what’re you doing..?” I said, but before I knew it, my pants were sliding down. I tried as hard as possible to keep them up, but Ryan pulled me over his lap.

“You’re getting a spanking.”

“A what??!?” I shrieked, trying to roll off of his lap. The only problem was that he’s waay stronger than me and kept a good grip on me. “No, Ryan.. wait.. you can’t!”

He pulled my panties down and ignored my pleas.

“I won’t do it anymore… please don’t do this! I feel like a seven year old!” And felt even more like a seven year old when he started smacking my bottom with an open hand. To top it off, it actually *hurt* like shit and I kicked and squirmed, then reached my hands back to keep him from spanking. It didn’t work… instead of stopping the spanking, he grabbed my wrists and pinned them against my back.

“Oooowwww!! Ryan,” I cried.

“I told you, I’m going to make sure that you never want to do ecstasy again. If you associate drugs with a spanking, maybe you can learn a lesson.”

“Noooo pleaseeeee, I’m sorry!!” I begged. “I won’t do it anymore!!”

I sure was putting up a fight and I’d almost forgotten that Brent was in the other room. Obviously, no one would want someone else to hear them getting spanked, especially someone like Brent who kept telling me how much I deserved it. So you’d think I would have tried to be quiet so he wouldn’t be able to hear, but I wasn’t. Ryan was spanking way too hard for that.

“Pleaseee no moreeee.”

“Stop all this squirming. I’m not even close to being finished.”

I cried out, writhing in pain. I imagined my bottom turning a dark shade of red, and Ryan just pounding away, as if I didn’t feel like I was dying.

Finally, after a few minutes of that, he stopped. I instantly hopped off of his lap and rubbed my bum. “Nope, I’m not finished, Alexis.”

“Noooo Ryan… no moreeee,” I pleaded.

“Stop rubbing.”

I didn’t stop… not as an act of defiance, but my bum hurt so much that I didn’t want to stop rubbing.

“Did you hear me?”

“I’m sorry but it hurtsss!”

He stood up and moved my hands away then leaned me over the bed.

“No no no noooooo,” I howled and rolled over to sit on my aching bum.

He put his hands on his hips. “Alexis… the more you fight the harder it’s going to be on you.”

“Ryan, I’ve had enough. I’ve learned my lesson,” I promised him, even though it wasn’t promises that he wanted.

“Roll over,” he ordered sternly.


“I’m giving you to the count of three..”

I whined like a little girl but didn’t wait for his count of three. I was sure that the longer I prolonged this the more pain I’d end up being in. That was the logic through my head as I rolled over on my stomach, sore bottom in the air. Of course, you know how it goes… I couldn’t help but move my hands back to cover my bottom.

“Move your hands..” was the first thing he said.

I reluctantly moved them in front of me. Then I heard a sound and turned to see what it was, only to notice that he was taking his belt off. This really got me whining good.

“Are you beginning to associate spanking with drugs? Because you do realize that anytime I hear of you doing drugs, you’re going to get spanked.”

“I’ll be a good girl,” I told him.

“I know you will,” he answered and raised the belt high then crashed it down on my bum. I howled in pain and couldn’t help but move my hands back to cover my bottom.

“No no nooooo pleaseeeee not that… it hurtsss.”

“Move your hands, Alexis.”

I moved my hands, almost to tears, and tried my hardest to keep them in front of me as he landed three more deafening blows to my backside. Then I couldn’t help it and had to move them back again. It hurt too much. “I’m sooooo sorrryyy!”

He paused, but when he noticed that I wasn’t moving my hands anytime soon, he moved them for me. “Stop reaching back,” he ordered then landed a couple of more until I reached back again. It must’ve been aggravating for him, but I couldn’t help it! The spanking hurt soooooo much.

“I’m sorry… it hurtsssss…”

“If you reach back again, I’m calling Brent in here to hold your hands for you.”

That should’ve been enough to keep me from doing it — it’s bad enough that Brent could hear all that was going on, he most definitely didn’t need to see it. But guess what? After three hard smacks, my hands wanted to reach back and I restrained, until he landed the fourth, and I couldn’t help it. I had to… it hurt sooo badly… and it’s like a reflex!

He sighed in aggravation. “I’m sorry, I won’t do it again!” I told him.

He didn’t acknowledge my pleas, though, just went to the door and called for Brent to come in and instructed him to grab my hands.

“Give me your hands, Alex..” Brent said.

I shook my head. “I don’t need you to hold them..”

“Give them to him,” Ryan said. He was the more intimidating of the two at the time, because he was holding the belt, so you’d have thought I would have done as he said… but instead, I shook my head again.

“I’m fine.”

Ryan smacked me hard with the belt and I winced and screamed. “Give them to him.”

I moved my arms in front of me and Brent grabbed ahold of each wrist. He sat down and we were pretty much eye-to-eye which was very embarrassing. I felt like such a little kid.

It didn’t take long before Ryan began spanking me again and Brent ended up having to keep a good hold on my hands. He kept me from squirming too much and talked to me in a soft voice, as if I was having a baby and in pain. “It’s almost over,” he was saying, “just a little longer.” How weird is that?

It felt like forever before the spanking finally ended and I really was bawling like a baby. I hadn’t expected myself to start crying, but I felt so miserable for letting my friends down and I wasn’t in control of what was happening. For all I knew, he could’ve been spanking me all night! But I think he was just waiting for me to break, and once I was broken, Brent let go of my hands and Ryan lifted me up and snuggled with me for soooo long and it felt so great. And Brent sat next to us and pet my hair…

“Alexis.. we love you,” Ryan was saying, rubbing my back softly, “and don’t want you to fuck up your life from drugs, okay?”

I nodded weakly.

“And if you don’t start doing homework and going to classes, I’M going to spank you,” Brent assured me.

I wanted so badly to say “ooo, I’m so scared,” but didn’t have the energy, just laughed.

“I think she needs to rest a bit,” Ryan said and Brent nodded. They both kissed me on the forehead and tucked me into bed. I smiled and rolled onto my stomach, panties now up, but no pants. My hair was matted against my face from crying so much… but that was far from my mind… the only thing I was thinking was “What the hell just happened?” It was so weird, like something from a dream. No, the spanking wasn’t pleasant… far from that. But after so many years of being an only child and having only my mom around, who only cared about me half of the time… it was kinda cool having some kind of older brother to take care of me. I was ready to be taken care of, and if that meant spankings, I was all for it.

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