Sam breaks into her girlfriend’s dorm room and finds out some disturbing information. It causes a loud commotion that stirs the teacher on duty. After a tearful confession and angst-driven meltdown, Sam must pay the consequences of breaking the rules.
The scream echoed through the hallways of El Colegio Internacional de Paraguay. It was a piercing scream, that of a girl in distress. Actually, it was my own scream, right after I read the letter that my girlfriend’s lover had written to her. A letter that not only proved that I was being cheated on, but that while Andrea had been too ashamed to even mention me to her parents, she was taking her lover home over the weekend. A letter that told me that while Andrea and I hadn’t gotten past kissing, she and her lover had rounded third base and were getting ready to make it to home plate, if you know what I mean.
My best friends had been standing outside the door, keeping watch, as it was waay past curfew at our boarding school, even if it was a Friday night. Being caught out of our dorms would get us in tons of trouble, but if a teacher found out that I’d borrowed (well, stolen) a key from the prefects, we’d be in even more trouble. But when my friends heard the scream, they came rushing in.
“What is it?” Yumi asked, worried about me.
“Sam, you’re going to get us in trouble screaming like that!” Carrigan added.
“That BITCH!” was all I could say. I ripped the note in half, then began throwing the rest of the contents in the box. I ripped up the pictures she had of the two of us, the letters I’d written her, and finally broke the necklace that I’d given her for her birthday. I chunked the box across the room, then began ripping the sheets off of her bed, ripping the posters off of the wall, still screaming and cussing her out.
Yumi touched my arm to get me to calm down, but I pushed her away and continued destroying Andrea’s room, just like she’d destroyed me.
“Sam,” I heard Carrigan say, now in a pleading voice, “you’re waking people up.”
“I don‘t care,” I shouted, now pushing everything off of Andrea’s dresser onto the floor. Some girls from down the hall were now crowded in the doorway, watching my tantrum. I now moved to the closet, ripping her clothing from the hangers and throwing items across the room. I tore the shirt that she’d worn on the first day we’d met… a shirt that I’d cherished so much at one point in time.
Suddenly, the girls scattered from the doorway, and I heard a male voice uttering Spanish down the hallway. Obviously, someone had gone to whatever teacher was on duty for the night and he was now headed our way.
“Go hide,” I whispered to Yumi and Carrigan, who ran towards the bathroom.
“What is going on in here!” I heard.
I didn’t answer, just stood there, fists balled up, not even realizing that tears were streaming down my face.
Emanuel appeared in the doorway, hands on his hips in anger. But when he saw me, he softened up a little, and instead of being pissed, he was more disappointed.
“Samantha? What are you doing?” he asked me.
Emanuel wasn’t just any teacher… he was my orchestra teacher and my advisor. That meant that we knew each other really well. He wasn’t just one of those teachers that you see every day in class, but they don’t know anything about you in real life… No, Emanuel knew all about me… not because he had to, but because he wanted to. He really cared about the life of a confused lesbian teenager. He wanted to help me out. The down side to that is that while my friends might have gotten away with a demerit and maybe a couple of licks with the strap, I was in for a heart to heart, a lecture, and then a good whipping. Great.
“I asked you a question,” Emanuel said, now entering the destroyed room.
“Nothing,” I answered.
He shook his head at me. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go talk in my office.”
I shivered slightly, knowing that a “talk” in his office was going to be more than just a talk. And it was already after midnight and I was drained emotionally and physically… why couldn’t we just have this “talk” another day? Or just forget about it altogether?
Instead of saying anything, I just allowed him to lead me out of the room, turning off the light and shutting the door behind us. Some of the girls were peeking out of their rooms when we emerged, hoping to see him spank me right there in the room, but they were out of luck.
“Vayanse a dormir!” he scolded them. “There’s nothing to see here unless you want to take a trip to my office, too.” All of the doors shut in unison. “Come on,” he told me.
I followed him down the hallway, then downstairs. Finally, he began digging his keys out of his pocket and I realized we were in front of his office door. He opened it, motioning for me to go inside.
“So tell me what’s going on,” he demanded, closing the door behind us, then taking a seat behind his desk.
But I didn’t sit down. I stood there, still angry with the world, trying to hold in the rage I had inside of my body.
He didn’t say anything, just stared at me, waiting. I knew him well enough to know that we weren’t going anywhere until I spilled everything, and he wasn’t going to beg me to speak. I debated in my head whether or not to tell him the truth, whether or not to tell him what was really going on. Of course, I knew that if I didn’t tell him, eventually he’d figure it out anyway. Besides, he wasn’t judgmental, and it’d probably do me a little good to get out everything.
I plopped down on the chair. “Andrea’s cheating on me,” I mumbled, holding my head in my hands. “She was ashamed of me… said that her parents wouldn’t allow her to date another girl… that they’d freak out… that she had to keep me a secret. Then why the fuck is she taking her lover to visit her parents?” I banged my fist against the chair, but Emanuel said nothing, just let me continue. “Why do I even have to be at this damn school,” I began, getting angry all over again and picking up the box of tissues that sat on the table next to me. I threw the tissue box to the ground, standing up now. I don’t even know what I started bitching about next, probably Paraguayan culture and gender inequality and how it isn’t fair that homosexuals, bisexuals, transsexuals, etc are looked down upon. I practically started throwing a fit right there in his office, toppling over the chairs, throwing the magazines, and finally throwing myself onto the floor, curling up in a ball and crying.
I don’t know how long I stayed there on the floor like that, but after a few minutes I realized that I was acting like a four year old. I was just so angry… at myself, at the world, at Andrea… at everyone. But now wasn’t the time to throw shit around my teacher’s office. Now was the time to face my consequences for stealing a key, being out past curfew, and trashing someone’s room.
I pushed myself up off the floor and fixed the chairs back, wiping the tears out of my eyes. I picked up all of the magazines and the box of tissues, and put them back in their place. Then, like a big girl, I sat down in the chair and looked at Emanuel with pathetic eyes.
“Come here,” he said softly, holding his arms out and standing up.
When you don’t have your own family around, you find people to substitute for you… and I guess Emanuel was a good substitute for an older brother… I stood up and walked towards him, letting him embrace me for a minute.
“I’m sorry things aren’t going well for you, Samantha,” he told me, then sat down and pushed my hair out of my eyes. “I know you’re upset about Andrea. What can I do to help you?”
I shrugged. “Nothing I guess.”
He nodded, leaning back in his chair, thinking about something. “Monday I’m going to make a few calls for you. Asuncion is a big city, and there’s bound to be something out there.”
I wasn’t quite sure what he was talking about, so I just didn’t say anything.
He now looked back at me. “But that still doesn’t change the fact that you snuck into Andrea’s room after curfew. It’s wrong to go through someone else’s personal things, but on top of that you violated school rules.”
I hung my head, staring at the floor.
He lifted my chin with the tips of his fingers, staring me in the eyes. “Samantha, I am very disappointed that you would act so immature. You’re fifteen years old, you know better than to do what you did.”
“I’m going to write you up for what you did.” Noticing my sullen look, he added, “I have to, Sam. You broke three rules in one night. But I will give you a choice as to whether you’ll be punished tonight or tomorrow. I know it’s late and you’re probably ready to go to bed.”
The thought of being punished made me cringe. I bit my lower lip and squirmed a little, resisting the urge to cover my backside. “Might as well go ahead and get it over with tonight,” I choked out in a whisper.
“All right,” he said, standing up again. “You know the procedure.”
I nodded, walking to the other side of the desk and whimpering slightly as I bent over it. He grabbed the strap and came towards me.
Nervously, I answered, “because I was out past curfew… and broke into someone’s room…” I lay my head down on the desk, covering my eyes as if I were at the doctor’s office and didn’t want to watch the nurse give me a shot.
I felt him lift my skirt up and braced myself for the first blow. And even though I was expecting it, it still somehow caught me by surprise.
“Oowwww!!” I shrieked, not moving from my position.
He crashed the strap down again, this time on my sit spots, and I howled in pain. After the third swat, I was bawling like a baby.
“Emanuel, I’m sorrryyyyy,” I cried, bawling my hands up in fists to keep myself from reaching back.
“I know you are,” he said, giving me another couple of blows, closer and closer to my thighs which were unprotected by my panties.
“Ayyyeeeee, Emanuel…. Pleaseee no more,” I begged, lifting my leg up in a kick.
He ignored my pleas and placed his hand on the small of my back to keep me from squirming too much. “Five more,” he said, then landed them all quickly in a row.
I remained over the desk, crying into my arms. It had been a pretty crappy night… first finding out that my girlfriend had been cheating, then getting whipped…
Emanuel let my skirt back down and lifted me up. He wiped the tears out of my eyes, looking at me. “I know it’s been a tough night for you,” he said. “But things’ll get better, Sam. We’ve come a long way in the last thirty years, and your country has, too. One day you’ll have all the rights that heterosexuals have… maybe in thirty years, girls your age will take their freedom for granted.”
I nodded. “I hope so.”
“Come on, I’ll walk you back to your room.”
I smiled. “Thanks.”