“Late night?” he asked.
I peered at my clock to see that it was two in the afternoon. “Yeah,” I muttered, lying back down, heart pounding but trying to stay calm.
“Is there something you need to tell me?”
“What?” I asked, playing innocent. I wasn’t sure what Alan had told him, and wasn’t going to admit to anything that Jon didn’t know about already.
He folded his arms. “Alan and I were talking downstairs, and I believe you have something to tell me.”
He walked closer to me, towering over with this look that made me chew on my fingernail. Bad habit of mine. “Oh yeah? You were talking to Alan?”
Jon nodded. “Let’s hear it, Jocelyn. I want to hear about your night last night, and I want to know EVERYTHING.”
I took a deep breath in and sat up, leaning back against the wall. “Please don’t be mad,” I begged. I was still chewing on my fingernail. Jon was going to kill me…
“Tell me,” he said firmly. Suddenly I felt awful. I felt this pang of guilt and fear. It was bad that I’d driven under the influence, and it was really bad when Alan caught me, but now Jon was here and he’d caught me and… he was super going to kill me. “I’m waiting,” he said, breaking off my thoughts, a displeased look spread across his face.
“I, um, didn’t get home till really late,” I said in a soft voice. Jon didn’t speak, just stared at me, waiting for me to continue. “I stayed out with my friends… smoking…” He still said nothing. “And then I drove home,” I continued, looking away and mumbling, “six hours.” My heart stopped as I was unsure of what would happen next. I didn’t really want to know what was going to happen next. I wished time would just stop, right there… or that I’d wake up from this nightmare of Jon finding out what I’d done because he was so going to kill me. “I’m sorry,” I said when I regained my breath.
He stooped down to my level, turning my chin so I was looking him in the eyes. “Have you lost your mind?” he asked. He let go of my chin and paced for a moment. “What were you thinking?! Driving around, by yourself, that far, at night, while HIGH?! Are you crazy? Do you even know what could have happened?” he asked.
“I know… I’m sorry… Alan already…”
“Your car is mine, for a month,” he said in a stern voice.
“But Jon, I…”
“You could have died Jocelyn! You could have had an accident… you could have hurt someone else… you could be in jail!”
I pulled my knees to my chest, trying not to cry. I hated seeing Jon so mad. I hated that I made him so upset. I knew I deserved it, though.
“You’re going to screw up the rest of your life? For what, marijuana? A pot-head friend who lives six hours away?” He shook his head. “I’m so disappointed, Jocelyn. You know better than this.” He stopped pacing finally and folded his arms, looking down at me. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
“It was really stupid… I’m sorry… I… really learned my lesson. I won’t do it again,” I said, wiping a tear away and burying my face into my knees to keep the rest from falling.
“That’s what you say every time, Jocelyn.”
I didn’t say anything, stuck with this knot in my throat, tears threatening to spill at any time. I sniffled, wishing he’d just forgive me and get this over with. But I knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.
“Driving under the influence… putting yourself in danger, putting others in danger. I think you’ve earned a good spanking,” he said finally.
I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. “Noooooooo, Jon, pleaseeeeee, Alan already spanked me and… I learned my lessonnnn!” I cried. Sometimes I can be a bit of a drama queen.
“Get the hairbrush,” he answered.
“Noooo pleaseeee you don’t understand Jon I’m reallllllly sorryyyy!”
He gave me a look that made me want to obey but I just couldn’t. My bottom still ached from earlier that day and now Jon wanted to give me another? With the hairbrush?! The hairbrush! The wooden one that was basically reserved for my worst behaviors ever? Thinking about it sent shivers down my spine.
“Save your tears,” he said. “Hairbrush now!”
The combination of “the look” and the way he enunciated “now” made me hop off the bed and amble towards my dresser, whining the whole way. It was in my middle drawer, with my regular hair products, only it’d never really been used to brush my hair. But Jon insisted I keep it in my room, I guess as a reminder. I had planned to throw it out one day… I really should stop procrastinating so much on that.
I turned around with the hairbrush in my hand and Jon was already seated on my bed, rolling his sleeves up. This looked really bad.
“Jon, I’m really really sorry,” I attempted one final time.
He looked up at me and just motioned me forward. I obeyed, sorta. My brain told my feet to step forward but I don’t think they really moved much. I inched my way towards him as slowly as possible until he grabbed my wrist, bringing me to his side.
“I want you to think about what you did while I’m giving you this spanking. I want you to think of all the people you could have hurt, and all the people you have hurt by doing this.”
I didn’t really understand what he meant, but didn’t think much about it because immediately afterwards he was baring my bottom, then helped me over his knee. I started crying again, especially when I felt his leg locking mine in, which meant no kicking, which meant this was going to suck so much. It’s like… if you went to the dentist and they decided to strap you down. Wouldn’t you be freaking out? Yeah, that’s what i was doing.
“I’m sorry,” I said pathetically, not knowing what else to say.
He didn’t answer me, just crashed the hairbrush down on my sore bottom. I yelped super loud and tried to reach back, but Jon caught my hand, then gave me a few more hard swats.
“Oooowwwwww, please Jon it hurtssss!” I howled.
“Good,” he said softly, swatting my sit spots and upper thighs before moving back to my bum with what felt like full force.
Don’t think I took this quietly. I was squirming and kicking and trying to block and crying and begging like you wouldn’t believe. I promised everything under the moon until he stopped for a moment, letting my bottom get a rest. It was throbbing so much. And my sit spots. Ouchies.
“You know, Jocelyn, I’m tired of you acting like a little kid. You’re sixteen years old. You’re almost an adult. I trust you to drive, I trust you to be here the weekend with just Alan, I trust you to act responsible, and this is what happens? You turn into the most immature and irresponsible young woman I’ve ever met. And now you’re fighting this punishment like you think you don’t deserve it? Let me tell you one thing, Young Lady, you deserve every swat I give you with this hairbrush. Your older brothers care about you and are trying to do the best they can. They lost their mother, too, and they could’ve lost their little sister last night.”
Ouchhh… I think that hurt more than the spanking did. I realized what he meant about having hurt someone by my actions. I guess Alan really had been worried about me last night. I sort of forget sometimes that my brothers have feelings, too. Dammit.
“I love you, Jocelyn, and I don’t want to lose you.” He held my wrist tight again and delivered some more swats. I still cried out, but tried to keep my squirming as little as possible since I really did kind of deserve this. “You’re the only little sister I have, and I’m going to see to it that you accomplish your dreams, even if it means that you have to be in this position much more often than we’d like.” He peppered my sit spots, concentrating on the right side first, then the left. “I don’t want to EVER hear of you putting your life in danger like that again, Young Lady, do you understand me?”
“Yesssss!” I cried.
“No midnight trips to the middle of nowhere and no driving while high!”
“I p-promiseeeee!” i said, now sobbing from both the guilty feelings and the aching sting in my backside.
He finished up with a few super hard swats to the middle of my bottom, then lifted me up. I was a sobbing mess, trying to wipe the tears and hair out of my face, but I was crying so much that I just made my shirt wet and my hair messy. Jon walked me to the corner and stood me there so that I could compose myself while he sat on my bed I guess. I sniffled and cried and pushed my hair out of my eyes and sniffled some more. Eventually my sobs had died down and I stared at the wall, leaning my head against it. I started thinking about what Jon had said and how he probably felt when he found out what I’d done. And then I thought about Alan, and the look he had given me the night before… and the way he’d tucked me in like I was his baby sister again… and the fact that I’d worried him so much. Jon was the oldest, he’d always been the strong one that took care of everyone. Alan was more sensitive, and I was closer to him. It hurt ten times more that I’d kept him so worried.
Jon cut off my thoughts once again by calling me over to him. He returned my pajama pants to me (they had fallen off during all of the squirming) and asked me to sit next to him. I was so not up for sitting, but figured he probably didn’t care much.
He gave me a hug. “Jocelyn, I am serious… I do care about you and I only want what’s best. Please don’t do something so stupid ever again.”
I almost started crying again! I hugged him back and said, “I won’t.”
He let go and looked at me. “Good.” He handed me the hairbrush to put back in its drawer. “There are some bagels and muffins downstairs leftover from today’s meeting, if you want any,” he said, getting up. He walked towards the door, turning around to look at me once again before leaving. “And hey, if you ever need to talk, you know you can talk to me, right?” he asked.
“Yeah, Jon.” I smiled. “Thanks.”
He smiled back and walked out, leaving me there sitting on my sore bottom with the dreadful hairbrush in my hand. First line of business, put it back up. Second, check out how awful my bottom looked!!
I tugged my pjs down a bit in the back and caught the best glimpse I could. Ouch… it was dark red all over, even down past my sit spots. My poor bum 😦
I nearly jumped out of my pajamas when I heard a tap on my door and Alan poked his head in. Embarrassed, I pulled up my pj pants and acted like I had been doing nothing. “Hey,” I said.
“You okay?” he wanted to know.
“My ass hurts,” I answered, pouting playfully.
He gave me a hug and said, “you deserve it.”
“I know,” I said softly. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”
“You’re forgiven little sister. Just don’t ever do it again!”
“Alan, you worry about everything! There’s no way possible I could never worry you again.”
“I meant driving while high!”
“I know, I was just kidding. Sheesh, loosen up a bit.”
He smacked my bum for smarting off to him then said, “I’m glad you’re okay.”
Yeah, I’m glad I was okay too 🙂