“You can’t do that! You can’t charge us for this!!” My high-pitched shrill startled the attendant as the plane we were supposed to be on backed out of the gate. “It’s your slow-ass security that’s the problem, not me. It shouldn’t take two fucking hours…”
“Ma’am, you will have to speak with customer service about this. Their desk is…”
“I don’t give a fuck where their desk is! This airport sucks! Es una mierda!” My fist slammed against the counter causing her to flinch. She’s lucky it was there, because I wanted to punch her in the face, but had learned some self-control over the years.
My boyfriend, Jason, heaved a sigh and touched my arm, his milky fingers a sharp contrast to my caramel-colored skin. “C’mon, Violet, it’s not worth fighting.” He kept an even tone, irritated yet calm. “Let’s get another ticket, the plane’s already gone. You can write them a complaint later.”
I glared in his direction, then back at the woman, shoving her clipboard and sending all her papers flying to the floor. “Have fun picking those up,” I sneered, now satisfied with having made her as miserable as she’d made me.
As we walked away, Jason didn’t allow me to relish in the taste of revenge, instead deciding to reprimand me. “I should pull your panties down and spank you right here in front of everyone.”
“Don’t even think about it,” I warned, trying to brush him off. We’d had a rough few months and our attempt to repair the relationship with a “relaxing weekend away” had been a disaster. Nothing had been solved, only more disagreements and headaches. I’d prevented myself from exploding on him so far, but if he kept pushing, this would be the last straw.
“Didn’t I tell you we would be late? To get up earlier, to stop messing around and hurry? And you didn’t listen, just argued with me that it’d be fine. And now you’re acting like you’ve done nothing wrong and…”
I stopped in the middle of the walkway and folded my arms. “Are we gonna do this right here??”
“Yesterday you promised to accept punishments again as long as I give you a warning, and today I’ve warned you multiple times…”
“I didn’t agree that you could spank me in a fucking airport.”
Our eyes locked in uneasy silence, neither ready to back down. Submission was tough for me in general, even with my first spanker, Gabe, who was actually able to tame me a bit (unlike anyone else who’d tried). Jason and I had a good run during the first couple of years in our “domestic discipline” relationship, but lately, I couldn’t convince myself that he was worth all the drama. Was it time to call it quits?
“If you’d stop arguing about everything…”
I threw my hands in the air. “Sure, blame it all on me like you always do. It’s my fault, everything’s ALWAYS my fault.”
“I didn’t say…”
“You know what, fuck off,” I spat and turned to continue walking, but Jason snatched up my wrist and tugged me towards him. “Let me go.” I tried to twist myself from his grip, half-ignoring the voice in my head screaming that it’s fucked up to break my promise to him. My adrenaline was triggered, though, which made it more challenging for me to give up control. Instead, it gave me the urge to swing my backpack at Jason to break his hold on me and sprint away. Maybe I could run out of the airport, back to our crappy cheap motel and stay there, and never have to deal with any of those fuckers in NYC again. “Jason… let go.”
He kept a stoic look as he dragged me along in silence, reaching the family restroom. The door swung open, and he thrust me inside. He tossed our backpacks under the sink, locked the door and reached for my upper arm.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I half-shouted. “You are NOT going to spank me, and especially not here. I’ll scream.”
“You’ve earned this. You deserve it for your sass and attitude all weekend.” He propped his foot up on the toilet and lifted me over his knee with ease.
“I have not had sass and attitude all weekend, and I don’t deserve anything! Stop and let me down!” I felt unstable like I’d fall on the floor at any moment, so I opted against struggling for now, though I was ready to fight him for real.
“Be quiet,” he ordered, flipping up my dress and tugging my panties down below my butt cheeks.
“Wait! Stop!” He delivered a few sharp swats to my bare bottom, surprising me with the intensity of his calloused hands. “What the fuck, I said stop!” I began trying to kick him, hoping that’d get him to back off a bit.
“Quit fighting and accept your punishment like a big girl,” Jason scolded, moving to swat my sit spots.
“Fuck! That hurts!” I was sweating from all the fighting and my anger was increasing, so as he peppered my bottom with his strong hand it stung ten times worse than normal! Then he made the mistake of wrapping his left arm around my chest to get a better grip so I wouldn’t fall. And I should’ve been grateful he cared enough to prevent a head-dive into the ceramic tile, but instead, I was pissed that he was spanking me in the first place. So I got this genius idea to sink my teeth into his forearm, biting into the flesh with as much pressure as my jaw would allow.
He yelped and let his foot fall, releasing me. “Are you serious?”
My dress dropped to cover my aching bottom, and I tugged my panties back into position as he rubbed his arm that was now slightly bleeding. “Well, you shouldn’t put your arm there, pendejo.”
The vein on his forehead was popping out, jaw clenched. “I’m not sure what’s with you lately.” His voice was steady and even, which somehow made me more nervous than if he’d exploded. “You argue with everything I say, even when you know I’m right or it’s about something insignificant. You’re fighting just to fight. Whoever the hell you’re angry with, stop taking it out on me. It’s pushing me away.”
With an eye roll, the words fell out: “Fuck off, you’re always on my ass for no fucking reason and you’re being a dick. So what, I made a mistake, get over it already!”
His mouth opened to argue, then it closed and he shook his head. “Maybe you should get your own flight. And I’ll see you at home. Or not. I don’t care anymore.” He threw his backpack over his shoulder and tore the door open, not another word to me.
“Yeah, well, I don’t care either!” My screaming was useless, though, because the door already slammed shut, so I punched the wall (and immediately regretted it). My eyes burned as I willed myself not to cry, swallowing the lump in my throat. Fuck him. Breathe, I told myself. Everything’s fine, I’m okay. I took a deep breath like I’d been taught in anger management, nostrils flaring and diaphragm expanded, then pushed the air out of my mouth. The second deep breath gave me a bit of a head-rush so I stumbled to the sink and splashed a little water on my face. The icy liquid felt good against my sweaty forehead and flushed cheeks, so I stayed like that, hunched over the sink, face buried in water-filled hands.
Damn, Jason was right about me pushing him away. “You’re such a fuck-up,” I said to the purple-haired disaster in the mirror. Black mascara was smeared under my brown eyes and most of my pink lipstick had washed off. “Can’t you do anything right?” I snatched a paper towel from the dispenser, dampening it and cleaning off the rest of my makeup. Did Jason just break up with me?
The rage washed over me again, millions of thoughts bouncing around in my mind. Fuck him! How is he gonna break up with me after I paid for his vacation? And leave me alone in the airport like this? Blaming me for every-fucking-thing… I snatched my backpack off the floor and dug around for my makeup bag, still yelling at him in my mind. As luck would have it, I stumbled upon his credit card, causing a wide grin to spread across my face. I’ll show him.
It was in the first-class lounge while sipping on a martini that I started to feel the pit of loneliness forming in my stomach. No amount of alcohol could keep my mind off Jason, and I should’ve known that. There was no one interesting around to talk to as a distraction; the only other patrons were old corporate-types, white men in suits yammering into their Bluetooth headset. Watching them made me nauseated.
But I still needed to kill an hour and a half, so I called my best friend (and unofficial therapist), Molly.
“Hmmm, it sounds like you need to find a neutral third party to discipline you if things work out with Jason,” she answered after I explained the day’s fiasco. Without giving me time to whine, Molly pondered the possibilities. “Who would you want it to be? Izaak would be so great for you, but I think his hands are full right now with his new roommate. And I dunno if it’d work with you and Toby, he’s too much of a softie.” Molly paused as she sucked in what I assumed to be a smoke cloud full of THC, then blew into the phone and started coughing.
“Yeah, and I stressed Toby out too much when he was tryin’ to be my Dom.” The liquor stung my lips as I took another sip, grimacing when the burning sensation slid down my throat. “Nowadays he’s too good a friend to take the chance of hurting him again.”
“Fair enough. You need someone more domineering…” Molly giggled. “What about Gabe? He would be perfect!”
A groan escaped my lips. My gut had already assumed Gabe would be the only person who could get me out of this funk. “Ummm… I don’t even have his number anymore… we didn’t exactly end on good terms, in case you forgot. And he’s such a corporate douche, I don’t want someone like that dominating me.”
“Oh, come on, you love money too much to hate the corporate douches like you say.” I rolled my eyes at her correct observation. “At least talk to him before deciding. I’ll text you his number.”
“Fine,” I grumbled. “What’s Vic up to?”
“He’s in Arizona covering the immigration stuff. What am I, your brother’s keeper? Just because we live together doesn’t mean I always know his whereabouts. And nice job changing the subject, by the way.”
“Arizona?! What the fuck, why didn’t he invite me! I wanna have a fun job and travel all the time… it’s not fair.”
There was a pause in conversation as Molly went into a coughing fit, then started giggling.
“Damn, I want some of what you’re smoking. What’s so fuckin’ funny?” I rolled my eyes and took another sip of my martini.
She tried to speak but kept breaking off in giggles until finally coughing again and breathing. “Sorry. It’s just that… You love your job! You get to help people in poverty and fight against the man and none of the lawyers give you shit anymore cuz you know more than all of them combined. You’d hate being a journalist and kissing ass like Vic does. I dunno why you suddenly think his job is… fun.”
“Ugh, ooookay Dr. Molly… I’m just venting, geez.”
“Ohhhh, sorry VyVy. I don’t mean to be annoying, I’m high as fuck and sometimes it’s hard to get out of therapist brain.”
“No, it’s fine, I’m in a mood. Maybe use your skills to tell me what to do about Jason.”
She giggled again. “You know what to do. Don’t be impulsive. Think before reacting. Avoid jumping to conclusions. He hasn’t officially broken up with you yet, so don’t do anything stupid to jeopardize the relationship. We’ve had this conversation before… How long have you guys been together now? Three… four years?”
“Yeah, it’s been exactly three years since I moved in with him. What a mistake.” I downed the last sip of my martini and considered following Molly’s advice since I did kinda ask for it and all. But the urge to order another drink with Jason’s credit card was stronger. And the biggest damage was the first-class ticket I’d bought anyway, so what was another few little drink charges? I’d been there for Jason in his darkest moments, like when he was unemployed with no idea what to do in life. But what good had he ever done for me?
“If things are awkward when you get home, you can crash here. I have lots of weed. And wine. And Vic’s bed is super comfy.”
“Can I just come to live with you?” My eyes followed the bartender, a well-built Latino guy in his late 20s. He glanced in my direction and flashed me a smile, raising his eyebrows to see if I needed anything.
“Talk to Jason first. And nothing stupid.”
I raised my glass to signal a refill and licked my lips, which the bartender seemed to like.
“You’re already doing something stupid, aren’t you?”
“Don’t ask questions you don’t wanna know the answer to…”
Molly sighed. “Oh geez, you sound like Gabe. Be careful and don’t forget to call him!!”
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Chapter 2 – Chloe: Izaak’s New Roommate