Previous: Chapter 24 — Molly Hosts a Sleepover
My deep slumber was interrupted by a pounding on the front door that I ignored. “Open up!” called the official-sounding voice. The doorbell dinged next, causing me to groan and push myself up from the bed, knowing more rest was futile. I glanced at my phone: 7:41am. Ugh, only 4 hours of sleep.
Why the fuck is Izaak waking me up?
Rubbing my eyes, I stumbled to the front door and swung it open, still half asleep. Izaak stood there in a suit, much more bright-eyed and bushy-tailed than me, leaning against the door frame. His expression was serious as he gazed down at me. “Can I come in?”
“Really?” I stepped to the side so he could pass, yawning. “Why so early? It’s my day off.”
Izaak strolled past me as I closed the door and locked the dead bolt. “I dropped the girls off at the airport,” he said, turning towards me and eyebrows raising.
“I know. You made Violet promise to be ready at ‘six a.m. sharp’ and she griped about it all night.” I shuffled back to my room, plopping on my bed.
He pulled out something from his pocket, which I immediately recognized as the vape pen I’d given Chloe. My eyes widened and heart skipped a beat. Suddenly, my body was awake.
“Does this belong to you?”
“Yeah, ha, I was wondering where that went,” I said, reaching for it.
“No, you weren’t,” he said, holding it away.
I flopped back onto the bed, looking up at him with a puppy face I knew wouldn’t work.
His head shook, staring at me in disapproval. “You gave this to Chloe.”
Chewing on my lower lip, I didn’t respond right away, wondering how to answer this with the least amount of problems. “Why do you assume it was me?”
“Oh, Esperanza took a good spanking in the truck this morning after claiming it was hers.”
“And then she ratted me out, huh?” After all, she had threatened to tattle…
“Of course not. She would take a bullet for you without a second thought, and there was no time to extract a confession.” He shook his head in disappointment as I realized that I’d just told on myself. “What were you thinking, kiddo? I didn’t expect you to be the bad influence.”
I hung my head, feeling the tears coming on. “Sorry…”
He gave me a fierce stare, then handed me back the pen. “Don’t give her drugs again. Next time I will not ask nicely.”
The sternness made me gulp, and I squirmed like a little girl whose guardian had just caught her in the act. “Are you gonna…. You know?”
Izaak’s eyebrows raised. Since Adam and I had been together, he hadn’t tried to spank me, respecting my commitment. “Do I need to?”
My shoulders lifted in a shrug, and my friend gently sighed, lifting my chin to lock eyes. We didn’t require many words to understand each other.
“I have work to do tonight…”
“Me too.” My voice was a mumble, heart speeding up as I remembered how Gabe and Toby expected me to spend my time off.
“I’ll message you when I’m home.”
I nodded, and he kissed my forehead, releasing my chin. We skipped the small talk, though he expressed another verbal warning to not badly influence Chloe, ruffling my hair as he exited the apartment. Our friendship gave me warm fuzzies and instant “little” vibes.
Laying back on the bed, I reached for my phone and vape pen, beginning my ritual of texting while smoking.
Adam: Miss you tons. Hope to see you soon 💚
Vic: Good morning sunshine ☀️ Crackers and I send our love (and she says she likes me more)
Violet: Don’t forget to check out a dispensary! Wish I could be with you!
And thanks for sacrificing yourself to sgt douche for me (even though I know you loved it 😉)
Chloe: Enjoyed having you sleepover — come back whenever ya want! And sry if you got in trouble for the pen 😅
Gabe: 😴 I’m up way too early for my day off. Do I really have to do paperwork today? You were so mean to me last night 🥺
Toby: Can’t believe you told Gabe 😭 I don’t wanna be tortured in front of everyone
Izaak: You’re not gonna punish Chloe, right? She didn’t ask for it or anything… I just gave it to her as a present
As I hit send on the final message, my phone vibrated with, surprise, a response from Adam! Typical for my heart to speed up with anticipation as I read. Back from CT, let’s catch up? Stopping by the office first and will pick you up at 11 for lunch.
So many mixed feelings…. excited to get the attention, angry at my happiness when he’d treated me like a used toy, nervous about a potential spanking. Part of me wanted to leave him on read as karma. But I was too wrapped up in love and hurriedly typed in a confirmation that I’d be waiting outside when he arrived.
Like me, my boyfriend grew up in a single-parent home, though struggled more financially since he has younger siblings. As the oldest and without a mother, he’s learned to burden himself with everyone else’s problems, so I didn’t blame him for wanting to help with the kids. Nevertheless, when he pulled up to my apartment with a bouquet of fake flowers, 1/8 oz of weed hidden inside (because he knows the plant I prefer), and an apology card, I fell for him all over again.
“I thought we could have Japanese, then swing by your place to share your gift.”
“Before you head back?”
His smile faded. “Yes… family life is chaos — it’s cancer, stage 4. There will be a lot of back and forth these next few weeks. But I’d rather not think about that and just enjoy our time together right now.” Adam’s solemn face tugged at my heartstrings. He’d been close to his ex-mother-in-law… his only maternal figure. Not to mention being the rock for his kids and ex-wife. Which meant I needed to support him.
“That must’ve been tough, dealing with it all weekend.” I held onto his hand as we walked towards the restaurant, urging my boyfriend to open up, ready for him to unload everything and fill my already overflowing bucket of emotions.
As expected, he took the bait. “It’s like reliving my childhood…”
I listened intently and empathized with his pain, using my best therapist skills to help him process his grievous experience. By the time we made it to lunch, I’d needed to wipe away tears a few times. But Adam looked much better, glad to have someone else carry the weight of his misery for a while.
As we sat and waited for our food to arrive, the talk became more light-hearted. I let Adam in on the ‘family’ dynamics, hoping he would come to the next meeting with me. His body tensed and I sensed his discomfort, but he didn’t reject the idea. He was just still so much more in-the-closet than me.
While we were on the subject, I asked, “You don’t mind if I do… stuff… with the ‘family,’ right?”
“What kind of ‘stuff’… spanking? For fun?”
“I guess. And… or… discipline.”
“Who decides you’re getting disciplined? Gabe?”
“Yeah… I mean… everyone. It’s a vote.”
Adam nodded, brows furrowed, as if he were about to say something I didn’t want to hear. “I just have doubts about the Muslim guy.”
My eyes narrowed. “His name is Izaak,” I said.
“I know you disagree, but Islam is dangerous, and their culture is degrading towards women. I won’t tell you what to do, but I hate the idea of… Izaak… being involved with your discipline.”
Anger burned in my throat. “That sounds so xenophobic.”
“Perhaps it is. I realize you trust him, but religion causes people to do crazy shit. I’ve done enough work in that part of the world to see things you couldn’t imagine.”
The condescension in his tone made me frown. “Izaak grew up in Western Europe in one of the most progressive countries. Maybe he has some traditional values, but I trust him with my life, and he would always be there for me in the second that I need him.”
Adam noticed the shade I threw his way and sighed, softening a little and taking my hand. “I’m sorry. He’s a good friend of yours and I won’t be mad at you if he’s involved — that’s your choice. But I won’t like it. I can’t change how I feel.”
Why am I even with this man?
His tone changed suddenly. “Oh, I meant to show you!” he said with excitement, reaching for his phone. He pulled up an email and clicked on a link, shoving the device under my nose. A page loaded with a Victorian-style house that looked like a dilapidated castle. “Eight bedrooms and a fixer-upper, as you requested. It’s supposed to be an excellent investment, in an up-and-coming neighborhood.” He scrolled through the pictures and my eyes watered at how perfect the property was. I imagined my whole family living together… someone always around, everyone helping each other out. The ultimate fantasy. “Do you like it? I’ll have my assistant set up a tour for us next Monday. Victor is still out of town, right? I guess we can make a video for him while we’re there.” The server arrived with our food, cutting off Adam’s train of thought as he leaned back for his plate of sushi.
Even though I grinned at my boyfriend, something seemed off. My chest was so hollow… empty. Depression? Or did I suspect this relationship wouldn’t last?
It was around 4pm when Adam left and I looked at my messages for the first time since morning.
Toby: No negotiations. If the paperwork is not complete by Thursday afternoon, Gabe will provide consequences in the presence of everyone.
Izaak: Don’t worry about Chloe. Focus on getting your work finished.
Violet: what oil do u want? (and a pic of the menu at the dispensary)
????? wtf bitch why voicemail??? u ain’t workin
ughhhhhh fiiiiiiiine…. ill get whatev
Gabe: Get it done or the ‘mean’ you saw last night will look like nothing.
Vic: I miss your face! I’m ready to hang out again. Fuck Arizona. (Crackers will like me more once we meet in person)
The high from my smoke with Adam had worn off, so I loaded my pipe with the sticky green plant, noticing the continued void within me. Loneliness felt more intense than ever, coated with a familiar frigidity of abandonment, which always happens when I fall for someone, like it’s my destiny. With the pain came intrusive images I couldn’t destroy — my boyfriend getting back together with his ex-wife. It’s what I deserved, anyway.
Mixed with that fear was a shit ton of shame and overwhelm at all the fucking work I needed to do, and at the idea of shifting to my job with Toby. I was financially secure enough to quit the clinic… but I didn’t want to desert my patients. I couldn’t be that person. Hurts too much.
Ignoring the gnawing sensation in my tummy, I took a puff off my pipe and scrolled through social media rather than answering any messages. There wasn’t any news. Violet had shared pics of herself posing in front of the space needle with the goodies she’d bought from the dispensary (for me?!). I mindlessly searched for Chloe’s profile, getting lost in a rabbit hole of beautiful women and spanko memes for what seemed like hours (and still didn’t find her). My head felt foggy and body heavy, partly a side-effect of the weed, but also likely the start of a depressive episode.
Fuck. I need to finish my work before this shit takes over.
My whiny inner monologue rambled on and on to convince me to keep smoking until I fell asleep. It muted thoughts about Toby and Gabe teaming up against me, forgetting that I didn’t want a spanking… and especially not an embarrassing one…
A quick nap won’t hurt… I’ll work when I wake up…
Not bothering to set an alarm, I discarded my pipe and snuggled up next to Crackers. Her loud purring hummed against my back, luring me to sleep within seconds…
I didn’t rouse until after sunset, a little confused when my cat started nudging me to feed her. Glancing at my phone, I noticed it was already after 8pm… Izaak had messaged me about an hour ago: I’m home now, whenever you’re ready.
Leftover grief hung in my mind as I opened a can of food for Crackers. The familiar anguish of drowning in sorrow swirled with thoughts of self-hatred. A tiny part of me was super grateful for Izaak — there’s no way I could stay alone tonight without spiraling out of control.
I took a hit off my vape pen, remembering Adam’s earlier racist comments and allowing the fury to develop, which was quite energizing. By the time Crackers finished eating, my headspace had changed to that of a bratty pre-teen ready to hang out with “the Muslim guy,” AKA one of my BFFs.
Izaak was putting files inside his safe when I walked in, slipping my shoes off in the doorway and setting the cat carrier down before tackling him in a hug. His arms wrapped around me, tricking me into feeling secure for a second, which was warmly welcomed. It was so nice I could’ve stayed there forever.
He broke free from my clutch to go back to locking up his work, then catching sight of Crackers. “You brought your cat?”
“Uh huh. Whatcha doin’? What’s that?”
He didn’t mind that I’m basically 12 years old. “There’s a strict zero animal policy in this apartment building.” Once the safe was closed and he turned the combination, Izaak stood with his hands on his hips, pondering what to do.
My lower lip poked out in classic ‘can we keep her?’ fashion, and my friend sighed like a father giving in to his little princess.
“He can stay tonight as long as you clean up after him.”
“Crackers is a she.” Though honestly, I’m not sure what my cat would consider its gender identity to be.
“Pardon my mistake. Did you finish your homework?” He walked towards the sofa, taking a seat and muting the tv.
I blushed, wondering if Toby had been talking about me with Izaak, too. “Nah, it’s so boring.” I slid my green backpack off my shoulders, opening Crackers’ cage and digging her out. She meowed as I carried her to the couch, plunking down next to Izaak and sitting her on my lap until she wriggled away and hid under the coffee table.
He glanced at his watch. “When do you plan to finish it?”
“Neverrr!” I said teasingly. “Have you enjoyed your alone time? Is your case hard? What are you watching?” I scooted closer to him to reach for the remote, but he caught my arm.
Then my stomach rumbled.
“You have not eaten?”
“I had lunch. Violet wasn’t home to cook for me,” I pouted.
He exhaled through his nostrils, startling Crackers, and shook his head at me. “One day, I will teach you simple meals. It’s unacceptable to skip dinner.”
I gave him my best puppy face as I still reached for the remote.
“No TV yet. Wash up and change into your nightclothes. I will make food. And then we need to discuss your influence on Chloe.”
Ignoring the butterflies in my tummy, I whined, “But I wanna watch TV.”
His eyebrows raised. “Do you need a spanking right now?”
My mouth dropped, and I shook my head, scooting back.
“Then be obedient. Get moving.”
Izaak flipped off the TV and turned towards me. “It’s time for your spanking, kiddo, and then bed.”
“Noooooooooo,” I whined dramatically, ready to throw myself on the floor like a kid (even though I was nervously excited to finally receive a real punishment). Izaak’s spanking would give me all the warm fuzzies I needed to (temporarily) fill the pit of loneliness and self-hatred. “One more episode, pleaseeeeeee!” My best puppy face had minimal effect on him, so I tried to snatch the remote, only causing Izaak to raise it out of my reach and wear a more serious expression.
“Sit down. I told you before dinner that we would discuss your behavior at 23:00 sharp. You know how important sticking to a schedule and being on time is for me. No amount of your pouting will change my mind.”
I plopped back onto the couch, now folding my arms and letting the hot crocodile tears stream down my cheeks. Izaak sat through my mini-tantrum, waiting patiently for my whining to subside before speaking.
“What are you in trouble for?”
The scene was familiar, a replica of the hundreds of times he’d spanked me in the past. There was something comfortable about the ritual, knowing what was to come. “Being a bad influence, but I’m sorryyyyy!”
“What are you sorry about?”
I chewed on my lower lip and squirmed, looking away because I was unsure what to say. I wasn’t actually sorry… in fact, I thought it was kinda nice of me to share my weed with Chloe and welcome her into our family.
Izaak didn’t break character (or maybe it wasn’t a character for him?) as he pulled me over to sit on his lap, ignoring that he made me blush a million different shades of red. He tilted my chin to make me face him. “You know how I feel about drugs. You are too little to use them anyway, but Chloe is littler. As the eldest, I expect more out of you.”
His words triggered my pre-teen headspace even more. My lower lip quivered. “Yes, Sir.”
“I understand all kids need to rebel now and then.” My tummy twisted into knots, and my face warmed, causing tiny beads of sweat to form on my brow. “And how do I deal with rebellion?”
I nodded, trying to look away, but he wouldn’t permit it until I answered. “You’re going to… s-spank me…. on my b-bare b-bottom.” When he released my chin, I buried my face into his chest, covering my burning cheeks. I hate when he embarrasses me like that!
Izaak humored me for a moment, then pried me away from him, standing me up. “Over my knee, kiddo.”
With a whimper, I did as told, vulnerable over his gigantic lap. I gripped onto the arm of the sofa as my pajamas were tugged down, then my panties, exposing my white bottom. Eyes clenched shut, I braced myself for the flurry of swats, though it didn’t help because once his hand met my unprotected skin, I remembered that preparation isn’t helpful. The sting is too powerful to ignore, and just as you get used to one swat, it’s followed by another, and another, overlapping.
I squirmed, limbs flailing as I howled, “Ooooowwwwwiiiiieeeee!” Each swat bit into my tender skin, backside thoroughly heated.
It didn’t take more than a dozen smacks for me to reach back and try to block, but Izaak’s quick reflexes allowed him to catch my hand without missing a beat. As he pinned my arm, I relinquished control, submitting to the punishment, knowing that I was safe in his care — he would stop when I’d had enough. Even though I wasn’t too sorry for sharing weed, knowing that Izaak was so concerned about Chloe made me feel connected to the family. I’d always wanted siblings… and got guilty pleasure out of being a bad influence. Getting spanked for sharing weed with my ‘sister’ was like a fantasy coming true… And Izaak made it so realistic.
How cool will it be if we can all live together?
“It’s been a while since you were over my knee, but I want you to know that any time you need discipline, I won’t hesitate to provide.”
“I knowwwww!” I kicked a little as the intensity of the swats increased. His heavy palm popped against my sit spots, making me yelp.
“I expect you to follow the rules and behave properly, especially in front of those who see you as a role model — that includes at school. Do you understand?”
“Y-yes, Sir!” Now I was starting to feel a little sorry, thinking about how I’d not been the best example at work, and I’d probably fucked up by hanging out with Adam and napping instead of doing notes.
“After this spanking, you will go to bed without protest. Tomorrow morning when I wake you, you’ll immediately get up to finish your homework. If I have to ask twice, the second time will be with the wooden spoon.”
“Nooooooo,” I whined, feeling warm inside and out. “You won’t have to!”
The last few swats were slightly harder, making sure I was a sorry, sore little girl. Then Izaak tugged my pjs into place, easing me onto his lap. I snuggled up, face pressed against his chest as I cried out the rest of my tears and he rubbed my back.
So many feelings: warm and fuzzy, vulnerable, yet safe and protected, loved and cared for. But still depressed. The hollowness from earlier remained, reminding me of the inevitability of abandonment. And Adam. I was frustrated at his lack of attention and presence. How can he talk shit about Izaak?
“You okay, kiddo?” Izaak shifted me on his knee, causing me to wince a little at the sting. Rubbing my backside, I glanced up at him with a pathetic face. He pushed the hair out of my eyes.
“I’m mad at Toby for blabbing to Gabe. It’s not fair. I don’t wanna get punished in front of everyone.”
Izaak shook his head. “Gabe called to ask about you. There is no need to be angry with Toby — he did nothing wrong.”
I blinked in confusion. “Wait… Gabe contacted Toby? Why??”
“He was concerned. It was obvious you were not okay at the meeting, but you are stubborn and won’t seek help.”
Now I was blushing again, hiding my face in his chest (though he pried me away) and regretting my question because Izaak wasn’t ready to stop his dad-lecture.
“You need to get back into your healthy routine…”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” I mumbled, defensive. “But routines are soooooooooo booooooooringggggggggg.”
“Do you need another spanking?”
Eyes instantly watering, I shook my head, wanting to argue more, but a little intimidated now. Even if I kinda wanted another one, I didn’t, really. I think.
“Stop chewing on your fingernails.” He didn’t wait for me to follow his command and moved my hand away himself. “Is there anything else you need to talk about before bed?”
I thought about it for a moment, remembering the favor he’d asked of me. “Chloe’s okay. Doesn’t seem like any reason to worry about the harassment stuff. She’s fine now.”
“Thank you.” He gave a weak smile, squeezing me in a hug. “Is that all?”
Normally a billion thoughts would come to mind, but of course I just yawned, which confirmed his suspicion that it was time to sleep. So he carried me to his room, tucking me in with my teddy (since he refused to let Crackers on his expensive sheets). He was about to leave to sleep on the couch, but my panic crept back in, and I called out weakly, “stay with me, please.”
My body relaxed when he crawled into the king-sized blankets next to me, arm thrown over my belly.
“You won’t abandon me, right?” I asked, snuggling up close, still massaging my tender backside.
“You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”